Values and idle idol worship.
I experienced what some would call an epiphany. A revelation. I was questioning myself about where my motivation seemed to lie these days. Most days I'm excited about food, coffee, and working on solutions to programming problems. Not so about research work and writing a thesis.
I thought hard about why this is the case. Isn't my research cutting edge, innovative and exciting? Well, to a certain extent yes. But then why is it everyone who enquires about my work find it hard to grasp the importance of it? Is it important at all? Does anyone seek to understand the workings of my work?
It sometimes even becomes a burden for me. The sheer weight of it. This could be one of the obstacles. The mental strength needed to push and motivate myself.
At times, other things seem so much more attractive. I've been having the itch to take up part-time work as a barista. However, I doubt there is space in my life for it at the moment. My thoughts are that I would prefer this than doing my thesis. Sometimes, I'd prefer to work on programming exercises rather than on my thesis. Solving problems that seems pertinent and relevant to the world out there.
I wondered why this was the case. It could be the value that people get from these things. For one, there is a demand for it. Baristas give people the coffee they want/need on a daily basis. Programmers solve problems that people need solved.
Thesis students... well, they don't really do it for anyone - more for themselves. Perhaps for the university. Often, work done is usually a drop in the ocean of other current work in the community. It's a cynical view but what is it that people really do it for?
Thus i came to this conclusion for my case. I'm motivated by the sense of need. The feeling of my work meaning something to others. To be valued by others. To be needed.
Sometimes i feel, no one wants my research work. Yet people want other aspects from me which I'm happy to provide.
However, tonight at a bible study meeting, I was once again challenged by the fact that God's dichotomy, God's perspective, God's values are so different to ours. While we value the things we do, the recognition, the importance, God doesn't. What does God need that he does not have? What can we give that doesn't already belong to God? Yet, we do see His love for us. His compassion for the outcasts, the undervalued people of society - the widows, the poor and the sick. It is their humility he delights in, their recognition of need in their life for him. Not the rich, who find their security in their wealth and possessions. Not the piety that religious leaders clothe themselves with to make others feel unworthy.
It is out of the heart that God wants us come and worship Him - not out of lips with empty praise or works that seek to impress others. It is not how much we know about God, but rather the lives we live in line with what we know, preach and teach of.
Yes, God has placed me in a position of privilege. Perhaps I have lost sight of how privileged I am - even in being able to pursue knowledge and research at this level. Yet I have lost sight of where my values truly lie and what ought to be the source of my motivation for studying. Yes, I went in to learn and experience life as a academic researcher. But I've come to realise it's much bigger than that. No matter what our occupation is in live or where we are, it's about who we are in the light of an awesome God who directs our path. It's about a God who shows his kindness to us even in the breath of life and in saving us from our lowly position to be equal with the exalted King over all who died for our salvation - Jesus. It is about recognising that everything belongs to God and ought to be brought as heartfelt worship to Him and for his glory - even my research studies.
It's not about the things we do per se. God is not interested in rituals, motions, customs and mindless habits. I really need to be reminded of this time and time again. It is by grace alone not by works, so no one may boast. I need to see things from God's perspective and not striving to carve an image or a reputation for myself to worship, for that is idolatary. I need to come back to God and worship Him, recognise who I am in the light of this Sovereign God and to surrender all things unto Him. It is to have compassion on the undervalued people in society. It is to be humble and to seek to serve others. To love and love unceasingly, even when it is hard. For this is what it really means to worship God.
I thought hard about why this is the case. Isn't my research cutting edge, innovative and exciting? Well, to a certain extent yes. But then why is it everyone who enquires about my work find it hard to grasp the importance of it? Is it important at all? Does anyone seek to understand the workings of my work?
It sometimes even becomes a burden for me. The sheer weight of it. This could be one of the obstacles. The mental strength needed to push and motivate myself.
At times, other things seem so much more attractive. I've been having the itch to take up part-time work as a barista. However, I doubt there is space in my life for it at the moment. My thoughts are that I would prefer this than doing my thesis. Sometimes, I'd prefer to work on programming exercises rather than on my thesis. Solving problems that seems pertinent and relevant to the world out there.
I wondered why this was the case. It could be the value that people get from these things. For one, there is a demand for it. Baristas give people the coffee they want/need on a daily basis. Programmers solve problems that people need solved.
Thesis students... well, they don't really do it for anyone - more for themselves. Perhaps for the university. Often, work done is usually a drop in the ocean of other current work in the community. It's a cynical view but what is it that people really do it for?
Thus i came to this conclusion for my case. I'm motivated by the sense of need. The feeling of my work meaning something to others. To be valued by others. To be needed.
Sometimes i feel, no one wants my research work. Yet people want other aspects from me which I'm happy to provide.
However, tonight at a bible study meeting, I was once again challenged by the fact that God's dichotomy, God's perspective, God's values are so different to ours. While we value the things we do, the recognition, the importance, God doesn't. What does God need that he does not have? What can we give that doesn't already belong to God? Yet, we do see His love for us. His compassion for the outcasts, the undervalued people of society - the widows, the poor and the sick. It is their humility he delights in, their recognition of need in their life for him. Not the rich, who find their security in their wealth and possessions. Not the piety that religious leaders clothe themselves with to make others feel unworthy.
It is out of the heart that God wants us come and worship Him - not out of lips with empty praise or works that seek to impress others. It is not how much we know about God, but rather the lives we live in line with what we know, preach and teach of.
Yes, God has placed me in a position of privilege. Perhaps I have lost sight of how privileged I am - even in being able to pursue knowledge and research at this level. Yet I have lost sight of where my values truly lie and what ought to be the source of my motivation for studying. Yes, I went in to learn and experience life as a academic researcher. But I've come to realise it's much bigger than that. No matter what our occupation is in live or where we are, it's about who we are in the light of an awesome God who directs our path. It's about a God who shows his kindness to us even in the breath of life and in saving us from our lowly position to be equal with the exalted King over all who died for our salvation - Jesus. It is about recognising that everything belongs to God and ought to be brought as heartfelt worship to Him and for his glory - even my research studies.
It's not about the things we do per se. God is not interested in rituals, motions, customs and mindless habits. I really need to be reminded of this time and time again. It is by grace alone not by works, so no one may boast. I need to see things from God's perspective and not striving to carve an image or a reputation for myself to worship, for that is idolatary. I need to come back to God and worship Him, recognise who I am in the light of this Sovereign God and to surrender all things unto Him. It is to have compassion on the undervalued people in society. It is to be humble and to seek to serve others. To love and love unceasingly, even when it is hard. For this is what it really means to worship God.
Comments